Who do you think you are?
by Pooky1234
Summary: Slightly au version of Jack and Ianto during KKBB. Ianto has left Torchwood and Jack wants him back. Songfic based on Christina Perri's 'Jar of Hearts'.


**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters as they belong to Russell T Davies, the BBC and Starz but I do get to play with them.**

**Notes: This is a songfic based on Christina Perri's Jar of Heart which I love. I knew there was a story in it and this is what I came up with. It imagines like many stories that Ianto has left Torchwood when Ianto went off with the Doctor so it is a bit AU. I'm not sure about it because of that but here it is anyway. **

**Who do you think you are?**

Captain Jack Harkness, recently returned leader of Torchwood 3 Cardiff, stood outside the door. He was nervous, a condition that he'd rarely experienced. Oh he'd been afraid before but rarely this nervous. He'd made a decision, a decision he'd only made once before in his life. His mind drifted back to the last time he'd done this, the last time he'd come back for someone, in fact the only other time that he'd done so. He'd come back for Angelo, the young Italian thief he'd met and nearly let himself love all those years ago. He swallowed hard trying to control his nerves knowing how that had ended. He supposed that Angelo could still be alive out there somewhere; people other than him did live that long these days but he'd never once been tempted to look for him and he'd never really, or even nearly, fallen in love again until … he'd never been ready but over the last year only the thought of returning to one person had kept him going through the torture, suffering and pain. He had no idea what it was about this quiet, unassuming Welshman that drew him in, but it did. This time Jack wanted to get it right but could he do that? Could he break the lock he'd put around those emotions? Only the next few minutes would tell; he pushed on through the door.

'Did you miss me?'

Ianto Jones heard the words he'd both dreaded and longed for and for several moments he couldn't move. He didn't want to see him; he'd got used to his new life and begun to make friends and yet turn around he did.

'Well, did you?' Jack Harkness asked again. He turned on his best smile. 'I bet you're trying to decide whether to kiss me or punch me,' Jack said holding his position. 'Well, you could try both!'

Ianto felt his nails digging into his palms as he struggled to maintain control. When Jack had left he'd made his decision. He hadn't expected Jack to return from his Doctor, especially as according to Tosh he'd betrayed Ianto already, back in 1941, and Ianto, knowing how little he'd truly meant to Jack had helped the others to open the Rift. But then Jack had kissed him and given him hope only to go off to his true love, The Doctor, the man whose hand he'd kept in a jar, the man whose name he'd shouted in his sleep as Ianto lay next to him watching.

The young Welshman had made his decision a month into Jack's disappearance; he'd left Torchwood and cut all ties so the others wouldn't know where he was either and be placed in a difficult position; yet here the immortal man was, acting as if nothing had changed or that nothing was different. Ianto should have been astonished at the arrogance of the man but he was used to it. He looked at Jack as he stood arms open wide inviting him in.

'What? You think it's that simple?' he said, anger resonating in his voice. 'I'm not moving from here, Jack. I'm happy where I am. I've made a life. We both know that all that's waiting for me if I move from this spot is regret. I'm not going to be your shadow anymore, the ghost of Torchwood, always there but seldom seen and rarely considered. I'm not doing that anymore. I have a life, Jack with people who don't just treat me like a dogsbody or bed warmer and expect me to be grateful for any crumbs of comfort they dish out. You had me Jack, but you chose to lose me; you chose to leave me.'

Ianto waited for Jack to speak. He wanted him to say something; he wanted a reason, an excuse, some sort of platitude, anything, something to remind him of how much he didn't really, desperately long to stop living this half life without the man in front of him. He'd managed to convince himself that this new life was all he wanted and now his carefully constructed house of cards was threatening to fall apart all over again because somehow it was always Jack, always him.

'But I came back for you,' Jack said simply. He'd said the same to Angelo all those years ago. Angelo, who couldn't understand how he was alive again, Angelo, who'd thought he was the devil and gotten him killed over and over again, having given him up to the mob to be slaughtered like an animal on a hook. Jack shuddered at the memory.

'He wanted me to stay with him you know, the Doctor. He offered me the chance to travel around the universe but I said no, Ianto. I wanted to come back here. After all that had happened I realised what was important, what mattered to me, and you Ianto, were top of that list; you were the person who got me through. The thought of coming home to you kept me going, Ianto. Having you hold me, kiss me, love me ….' Jack struggled to hold back his tears but his words faded when he saw the other man's face.

'What! You think it's that simple.'

Jack knew it wasn't but Ianto had no idea how hard this was for him or how much Jack was risking. Why should he?

'What? You think that you just have to want me one more time and that's it!' Ianto's hands were on his hips now as he stared at Jack; anger filled his every nerve and sinew.

'Who the hell do you think you are, Jack Harkness? How many other scars have you left since you've been running around the universe with your Doctor?'

'_I have scars too_,' Jack wanted to say. '_But no-one sees mine. Neither you or Angelo will ever …..'_

'So what is it this time? What? Have you been back to her and discovered that she's engaged and just thought you'd try me again? Is that it? I've seen what's in that box of yours. How many hearts have you collected over the years? All those people, all those lives and loves but not me; there was nothing of me among them. I didn't matter enough to warrant a place. Did I? I wanted to tear them all to pieces.' Ianto stopped seeing the look on the other man's face.

'_There was no picture of him either_,' Jack thought. '_Sometimes there just wasn't the opportunity or the time. And as for Gwen, he was glad really. It was for the best.'_

'Gwen's engaged to Rhys?' he asked.

Ianto sank down onto the edge of the desk, his legs giving way. '_So he wasn't second best after all. Jack didn't know._'

'Where's the box now?' Jack asked quietly.

'Where you left it,' Ianto whispered. 'They're all there, the pictures of the people who loved you. Did you love any of them, Jack? How did you tear their lives apart? You can't do this all the time you know. Some time you've got to let someone in. It's like your heart is made of ice, Jack. All the time we were together, we weren't really, were we. Owen was right after all and I really was just a convenient fuck and nothing more. That ice is still there isn't it? It's packed around your heart, protecting you from feeling anything. Truth now Jack, isn't it. So don't say that you've come back for me. In fact don't come back at all.' Ianto went to get up. Jack moved forward and put his hand on the young man's arm.

'But Ianto, things will be different now, I promise, I've changed. Things happened while I was away. I'm not the same man I once was. It's taken me time to find you, Ianto. I didn't bother to see Gwen or Owen as I know you'd only have told Tosh but she said nothing. She just told me to leave you alone but I couldn't just let you go. I searched until I found you. I'll do whatever you want.'

As he looked at Ianto's hurt pouring out of him Jack once again was reminded of another man's hurt and confusion as he stood ther, exactly as Angelo had done all those years ago.

'But you were dead,' Angelo had protested. 'I saw your body.'

'D'you wanna see it again,' he'd asked trying to lift the tension. He should have known better but the truth was that Jack never learned, not even now. He removed his hand from Ianto, leaned back on the table and tried to think what to say to make things right this time.

'Please, Ianto, I want another chance with you. Don't just push me away without giving me a chance, without giving us a chance.'

Ianto pulled out a seat again and sank down on to it once more, his legs threatening to let him down. His head sat momentarily in his hands as he tried to compose himself. He looked up at Jack. The immortal realised once again how young the Welshman was and Jack felt so old, so very, very old.

'I heard you were looking for me; Tosh told me but I said I didn't want to be found and Tosh respected that, even if she didn't agree with me. She thought I was running away and a little while ago she'd have been right, but things are different now, Jack. I've begun to make a life for myself, a life away from Torchwood so I'm not just going to fall back into your arms just because you want me one more time.'

'Is there someone else?' Jack asked.

Ianto looked at him. 'No, Jack you're a bit of a hard act to follow.' He pushed away the thought of how he was lying to himself, how he'd never felt more alive than when he was with Jack, in his life, in his bed, buried deep inside him, when death was a constant hazard and nothing was certain but uncertainty.

'Now who's got the ice in his heart, Ianto? Here I am asking you. I've never done that before in my life,' he lied. 'I'm not asking you as your boss, I'm just asking you as a man Ianto, a man who needs you to be in his life.' Jack could see the tears in Ianto's eyes.

'I'm not coming back to Torchwood, Jack. I need to be more than your part time shag. It's taken me a while to feel this together. Sometimes I wish we'd never had that first kiss.'

'The one you denied,' Jack said sharply.

'Come on Jack, neither of us made promises; you'd have broken them anyway and I've no guarantee that anything you say is the truth. How many others have you come back to over the years?'

'_Just the one_,' Jack thought to himself, '_and he didn't believe in us enough or maybe it was me who didn't want to believe_.'

'I know so little about you so it's not that simple, Jack. I don't know if you get to have me back; I just don't know at all.'

'What about dinner, a movie, interested?' Jack asked suddenly.

'Are you asking me out on a date?' Ianto said completely taken aback.

'Yes Ianto Jones, I'm asking you out on a date. _Another first_,' the immortal thought to himself. '_And how times have changed_.'

'Tonight?' Ianto asked.

'Yes, if you want,' Jack replied his voice full of hope. 'So is that a yes?' he asked.

'Yes Jack, that's a yes.'

Across the world an old man smiled as he watched the CCTV footage of two men emerging from the building. He was glad for his lost love that he had found his again. He looked at the young man at Jack's side and thought, '_Hold onto him, Jack. I like this one and I think you do too.'_


End file.
